Monday, March 21, 2005

more fun with eBay

The raison d'etre of SEM | ANTICS is not simply finding silly Google Adwords bids and trying in vain to come up with witty accompanying captions.

But when they just keep serving up high fastballs right over the plate, how can we refuse?

The following ad may be, we gather, an eBay Lenten special, but we can't confirm.



Now a note to Mom. Look, I know I said you should get on the Internet, but geez...

Friday, March 04, 2005

eBay: 86% evil?

Google's well known and oft-chided internal mission is "Don't be evil." Oh, would that eBay felt the same. We recently showed that the world's largest online auction house found its inventory of despair worthy of advertising via Adwords. So we decided to perform further testing, with the results shown below. Turns out that six of the seven deadly sins are readily available - some through affiliates, and some, we assume, through regular OEM channels.

Gluttony appears to be the only one of the "big 7" not found. This is not to say that gluttony is not available at eBay - only that no one is purchasing Adwords to move it out the door.

All this brings us back to the original point. Six of the Seven Deadly Sins are available for purchase at eBay. eBay, we conclude, is the devil's convenience store. And Google Adwords is its faithful lackey, pacing the sidewalk outside, wearing the sandwich board of eternal damnation.

Enjoy what follows.

Anger
Envy
Lust
Greed
Pride
Sloth


Never, ever, pay retail for your anger items.


Sigh. I wish I could sell envy on the web.


Ah, this takes me back to the classifieds in the old hometown Gazette...


"Greed is good." - Gordon Gecko
"Used greed is a better value" - eBay


Pride (Not the U2 kind)


And finally, Sloth.

Thursday, March 03, 2005

It could be worse. I hear BizRate hasn't had Despair for months.

they really do have everything!

Regarding the eBay post above, a few notes. Finding junk results in AdWords is starting to be as simple as finding ... well ... junk results in natural Google listings. But we found this particularly distressing.

Questions for the seller:
  • Do you offer a Buy It Now special?
  • How do I know this is real dispair? My brother thought he was buying dispair and it turned out to be ennui.
  • What sort of shipping do you arrange? (I bought a ton of gloom last year, and I had to drive all the way to Philadelphia to pick it up. Never again.)