Friday, January 06, 2006

Twelve Signs You're Taking This Too Seriously

SEO, Web 2.0, New Media, Social Computing ... all peas in the same fetid pod, we figure. Each exacts the same tyrannical toll on its adherents: computational myopia, social withdrawl, and over-consumption of hydrogenated oils.

Without further delay, SEM | ANTICS presents a dozen signs that this whole "nanoculture" thing might be a little too much for you to handle. Why a dozen? Why, one for each donut you ate this morning, silly!

Twelve Signs You're Taking Socio-Techno Convergence Too Seriously:

12. You blew off your daughter's science fair because her report didn't get a single digg.

11. You no longer speak to co-workers, but instead refer them to your comments feed.

10. In less than 60 seconds (and with condescension in your voice), you can describe at least three ways that true podcasting differs from mere audio file recording, distribution, and playback.

9. You make fun of Om Malik's growing popularity because you read him back when he was known as "KiloOm."

8. After your annual performance review, you immediately head to del.icio.us and tag it "bullshit" and "unfair."

7. You're starting to think that maybe the term folksonomy isn't so bad after all.

6. Putting on a link condom is about as close as you're getting to the real thing.

5. You replaced your posters of Lindsay Lohan and Hilary Duff with 5-megapixel glossies of Jeremy Zawodny and Matt Cutts from PubCon X.

4. You spent $400 on an iPod so you can download videos of Microsoft developers playing Xbox 360 in Scoble's den.

3. You know EXACTLY where you stand on the Adam Curry/Wikipedia fiasco.

2. You were totally surprised that your suggested "mashup" between you, your spouse, and the babysitter was poorly received.

... And the number 1 sign that you're in way too deep:

1. In items 2-12, you didn't need any links to know exactly what we were talking about.

Sir, step away from the laptop, and put the coffee down.

9 Comments:

At 1/06/2006 9:43 AM, Anonymous Chris said...

Crap, I was fine until #1 hit too close to home :-)

 
At 1/06/2006 4:54 PM, Anonymous Nicole Simon said...

That would be M'am and no way I am giving away my real life experience hand warmer thing!

And yes, #1 defenetly hurt.

 
At 1/06/2006 5:09 PM, Blogger semanticist said...

Nicole,

Yes, the final line is sexist. We were going for a "COPS"-style directive, which wouldn't really lend itself to "Sir/Ma'am, please step away...," but it fell flat. (And this, after such an effort to keep item #2 gender-unbiased!)

Thanks for visiting.

 
At 1/06/2006 6:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL, what total dork would put up a picture of the poster boy for the 40 Year Old Virgin sequel - Jeremy Zawodny?

 
At 1/07/2006 2:11 AM, Blogger Michael Ridley said...

That was pretty funny!

-m

 
At 1/07/2006 3:14 PM, Blogger JoeDuck said...

I'm putting down the coffee but leaving the poster UP, OK?!

 
At 1/07/2006 10:47 PM, Blogger bdeseattle said...

this is classic! LOL. I didn't have to click a single link.

this web2.0 crap is driving me loco. look at the post I just added to my blog and the resulting article I posted to lifehack.org. I am a total dork. time to logoff, logout, and unplug. really. think the seattle weather is also contributing to my ahhh _addiction_

 
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